Empowerment Sounds Great - Until Someone Has a New Idea

Some years ago, I delegated a task to someone I respected. They were capable, motivated, and I wanted to show trust by giving them room to run with it.

When they came back with what they’d produced, I was floored. Not because it was wrong — it wasn’t. It just wasn’t what I would have done. And if I’m honest, I didn’t like it.

That moment has stayed with me, because it revealed something uncomfortable. I said I wanted to empower them, but what I really wanted — without realising it — was for them to mirror my thinking. I was open to initiative, but only within an unspoken set of parameters that looked a lot like my preferences.

This is the trap. Leaders say they want innovation, ownership, and bold thinking. But as soon as someone does something different — truly different — it triggers discomfort. And if that discomfort shows up in how we respond, it sets a clear message.

That’s where Unwritten Ground Rules (UGRs) come in.

If I frown. If I take control back. If I explain “what I really meant”… then I’m not just reacting in the moment. I’m creating a UGR. Something like: “Around here, you can take initiative — but only if it matches the boss’s expectations.”

And that becomes contagious. It doesn’t need to be said out loud. People observe. They adapt. And before long, innovation is replaced by hesitation.

This is the leadership dilemma no one talks about when we promote empowerment. True empowerment means we will be surprised — and not always in ways we like. It means giving up a level of control. It means allowing people to do things differently and, yes, even make mistakes — without paying for it.

If we say we want empowerment but punish difference — even subtly — we’re not empowering anyone. We’re rehearsing a script. And the UGRs will expose that gap every time.

So the real test of empowerment isn’t what we say. It’s how we react when someone colours outside the lines.

Because in that moment, the culture gets written.