A while back, I had the privilege of speaking at a conference focused on health and wellbeing in the workplace. As I listened to the presentations, there was considerable discussion about psychosocial safety, psychosocial hazards and the growing legislative responsibilities placed on organisations. It was thoughtful, evidence-based and highly practical.
On the drive home, however, I found myself wondering whether one of the biggest contributors to workplace stress is receiving far less attention than it deserves.
The legislation and accompanying guidelines identify a wide range of psychosocial hazards including workload, job demands, poor support, role ambiguity, bullying, violence, remote work and organisational change. These are all legitimate risks and should be managed.
But I believe there is a significant omission.
What about the stress people experience when they feel compelled to behave in ways that conflict with their own values simply because they believe that is what is required to survive, succeed or belong?
This is the world of Unwritten Ground Rules (UGRs).
UGRs are people’s perceptions of “this is the way we do things around here.” They are not created by policy. They emerge from experience. They develop as people observe who gets promoted, who gets ignored, who gets blamed, whose ideas are welcomed and whose are quietly dismissed. Over time, employees learn the informal rules that govern everyday behaviour.
Many of those rules are positive. They encourage collaboration, openness, accountability and respect.
Others are far more damaging.
“Don’t question senior leaders.”
“Keep bad news to yourself until you’ve fixed it.”
“Looking busy matters more than producing results.”
“If you want to get ahead, don’t rock the boat.”
These unwritten rules create a dilemma for many employees. They know the behaviour expected by the culture is inconsistent with their own beliefs, yet they also believe there will be personal consequences if they behave differently.
That is where the stress begins.
The emotional strain is not simply the result of a heavy workload or competing priorities. It comes from continually managing the tension between who I believe I should be and who I believe I need to be in order to succeed here.
People edit themselves. They suppress concerns. They avoid difficult conversations. They remain silent when they see unsafe practices. They withhold ideas they believe would improve the organisation. They laugh at jokes they find inappropriate. They work excessive hours despite believing it is damaging their health because everyone else appears to do the same.
In other words, they conform.
The longer this continues, the greater the emotional cost. Living with that tension day after day requires energy. It erodes authenticity, creates internal conflict and, ultimately, contributes to stress.
Yet this mechanism receives remarkably little attention in discussions about psychosocial risk.
If I am right, organisations may be diligently addressing recognised psychosocial hazards while overlooking one of the forces that quietly amplifies many of them: a culture that teaches people they must compromise their own values in order to belong.
This is why I believe psychosocial safety is, fundamentally, a culture issue.
Policies and legislation establish minimum expectations. They are essential. But they cannot tell us what employees have actually learned from their lived experience.
Only culture can do that.
Every interaction teaches an unwritten lesson. Every response to bad news. Every reaction to a mistake. Every promotion decision. Every meeting where someone is interrupted—or genuinely heard. These experiences accumulate until people conclude, “This is what is really expected around here.”
Perhaps that is the question we should be asking more often.
Not simply, “What psychosocial hazards exist?”
But, “Which unwritten ground rules are causing people to behave in ways that conflict with their own values?”
If we can answer that question honestly, we may uncover one of the most significant—and least recognised—sources of workplace stress.
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